a calvinist dilemma

This past summer, I've felt what some might call a spiritual slump in my journey with God. I've become dissolutioned with the amount of effort that it takes build and maintain a "relationship with God." I noticed that when I prayed regularly, meditated on scripture, attended various worship services and prayer meetings, I really felt more filled with the Spirit, more pious, more ON. With the busyness of summer and lack of motivation, I've lost that feeling. Now, this might seem naturally but it bothers me. If God is sovereign and holds all things in his providential hand, shouldn't it be the case that I feel close to God when God wants me to be close to him? And shouldn't it be the case that I feel filled with the Holy Spirit when God decides to fill me with the holy spirit? Why then does it seem for all practical purposes that the degree to which I feel ON or "with God" depends, it seems, entirely on how much effort I put into it? I feel as if I am in control of how "close to God" I am and this bothers me. It would lead a person to beleive that the subjective experience of religion is up to the individual. I beleive God is objectively real and in control of the universe. If God has given me the Spirit that I might beleive and be saved, why doesn't God give me the Spirit and make me "spiritual?" If salvation comes free, why is sanctification so much work?